Merde

Warning – I am in the worst mood ever and this is going to be a very negative post, only read if you are game! Consider this your language warning as well.

So on Saturday, I went to check out where I would be moving to next week, I chose it because although it was further away from transport the description said there was a shared kitchen between 4 people and a shared shower/toilet (and it looked nice on google maps!). I was looking forward to having a little kitchen and getting to know four French roomie’s really well since there would be a common area. I wasn’t even expecting much since I will only be paying 200Euro/month. BUT, I went there and it is miles and miles away from the nearest train station and the ‘shared’ kitchen is between about 40 people and consists of 4 hot plates and a sink.... just brilliant, I could have bought a bloody hotplate and lived near a train-station! Grrr!

Then Sunday came, in general I hate Sundays, it is always really quiet and I get homesick really easily on a Sunday. Hence, I had previously instigated Tourist Sundays but had too much uni work and studying to do. Sunday is always the day you spend with your partner or friends and just chill out, it really sux being so far away from the boy. I made the silly decision to watch a movie, I watched Dear John, like the saddest army boyfriend/girlfriend movie ever, so made myself even more miserable, although I enjoyed wallowing somewhat.

The novelty of being in France has well and truly worn off. I am also getting a cold/cough, which I am sure will start the onslaught of sicknesses that you get when you move to a foreign country. Then the internet (my only lifeline) stopped working because it’s too hot. The French don’t believe in air-conditioning (even for servers) so whenever it gets hot everything stops working – brilliant isn’t it! As much as I love the sunny weather, the metro reeks when it’s hot–the French obviously haven’t discovered deodorant!

But, this evening I was walking along the Seine on the way to eat goat’s cheese under the shade of the Eiffel tower and was thinking you need to get a grip and stop being so negative, you are so lucky to be here! Ok, I was actually thinking about how slow tourists walk, they are infuriatingly slow when you need to get somewhere. And I was really pissed off because I bought a picnic blanket especially for these occasions because the grass is generally littered with cigarette butts (they don’t tell you that in the brochures do they!), but on Friday night, it was one of the Russian’s last night in Paris so we had a picnic at Cite U, I was sitting on the edge of my blanket, this girl just sat right in front of me on my picnic blanket cutting me off from the circle, no biggy really I just moved. But at the end of the night I went to get my picnic blanket and they had spilt heaps of stuff all over it, one of which was caviar so my picnic blanket smells like rotten fish at the moment! Now, I hear you say, ‘why don’t you just wash it Nikki?’.Well, I don’t have any more credit on my laundry key and the minimum amount I can put on it is 20Euro and there is no way I will be doing 20euro worth of laundry in the next week (before I move) and you can’t get a refund – ridiculous French system again!

Then, I am sitting having a lovely picnic with my friends which was rudely interrupted by a various assortment of beggars, nothing out of the usual. Until I notice that my phone is missing, it was right there, next to my sandwich, the last beggar had come and was really forceful putting his hands over everything and usually you just say no and avoid eye-contact – bad idea, you need to watch these French bastards like a hawk, he was holding a piece of paper and must have picked my phone up while he was asking for food – the little French fuckwit. I have never been so mad in my life. I quickly got up to try and find him because I remembered what he was wearing (it struck me only after that he was a very well dressed beggar!). Didn’t see him but went straight to the police station to report it and they put out the word to the other policemen, my French was actually alright, thankgod for all those describe that person games in class – t-shirt vert, chevaux noir et court. Of course it didn’t help!

Because it is only a small station they sent me to the large station in Paris, of course I got lost on the way there because I didn’t have a map and didn’t have an iPhone. So I eventually got there and they told me to make a report I needed the IMEI code for my phone, like I keep that handy! I tried to phone my phone company (from the police station) to cancel the sim but I didn’t know my security code, plus it was all in really quick French so god only knows if I did it right! Then, I am miles away from anywhere familiar so I just found the closest metro ( I actually felt safer in the metro...weird) and then had to take 3 trains to get home, none of which connected within 5 minutes of each other, so took like an hour to get home! And then I had to have a shower in this frigging hole that they call a shower and there was so much hair in the drain and it was cold for the first 10 minutes and I just want to scream!

So, now I’m typing this on word because the internet is still not working! Which is probably the only good thing right now, because if it was I would be looking up flights home, I have had enough of this place! I know I will feel better in the morning but I just want to be somewhere familiar and with people I know and where I feel safe and where stupid French people don’t steal people’s phones!

French tip of the day- Merde is the equivalent to Fuck!